Monday, October 3, 2011


Do you ever read something and think it was written just for you? That some random person out in the blog world, has found a way into your heart and mind and is writing about a little piece of your life? Today, this happened to me.

I read about this idea that sometime our lives are full of these boulders, boulders so big that we feel trapped in the shadows. And these boulders are so massive that we feel like we will never be able to step out from behind them. In my life, one of these boulders is certainly AVOIDANCE!

Please tell me I am not the only one that has ever felt trapped by avoiding. When I feel trapped by this particular boulder, I hear voices saying things like this:

avoid truths about myself: my health, my weight, my finances, my job, my calling
avoid relationships: with my family, close friends, those who I am just getting to know, those who I think are not like me
avoid that empty feeling in my heart that has been there since my daddy died,
avoid really coming to grips with who the Lord has made me and really starting to love that person

So here is the truth, I am an avoider. Not something I am proud of and certainly not what the Lord has for me, but where I find myself so often. Praying that through this journey of truth, I will begin to look these things I avoid right in the face and embrace them instead of cowering behind that boulder.

31 days of truth...a little late

So, the Nester, is sponsoring 31 days writing project over at her blog. I had written my first 2 responses and then deleted them because I was not sure I was really ready to start something like this. And now, I am already behind, but I really feel led, pushed, pulled, to participate in this challenge. If you look at her blog, you will find all kinds of topics that people are choosing to blog about for the next 31 days. Everything from 31 days of joy to 31 days of photo tips to 31 days of thrifty shopping to 31 days of courage. My heart has been really drawn to this idea of 31 days of truth.
Why, truth? That is a good question. The Lord has had me on a kinda crazy journey the past year or so with really understanding His truth about me. While I am still not sure I am really embracing what he says is true about me, I am working to replace the truth I think about myself with His truth. So for the next few days, and let's be honest here, if you have read my blog at all, you know this will not really be everyday, and I might eventually finish these 31 days, I will be talking about truth. I will be sharing some of the truth I feel about my life right now, in this stage. I will share about the truth that the Lord says about me through His word. It will be a good mixture, I hope, of what is going on in Brooke's head and what the Lord is trying to get me to see!
Thank you for letting me be honest, in these posts. I think this is going to be a quite the experience for me!

so here is the first little bit of truth....
i am crazy nervous about how the lord might use this in my life, but so excited at the same time!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


I have never been really good at telling the truth from a lie. The only time I am able to usually do this is when my students lie to me. They have this way of looking at the floor, biting their lips, etc that clues me into the fact that they are not telling me the truth. But in my own life, with the people I love, I have never been able to tell fact from fiction.

This is especially true when I think about the thoughts that flow through my mind day after day, moment after moment. There are seasons, where these thoughts are the truth. I hear the voice of the one who created me telling me that He delights in me, He sees past my shortcomings to the woman that he created me to be. I hear that I loved, that I am good enough, that I have a purpose.

In other seasons, I can't even hear the whisper of this truth. The lies that flood my mind are so loud and clear, that I find myself believing them all. Lies about whose I am, my body, my life, my friends, my future, you name it the lies just keep flowing. They become so intense that often times I feel like my heart is being crushed under the weight of them. I feel like no matter what I do, I will never be able to breathe in truth. I will never be able to hear those things that I know bring me life.

I can remember times when I knew nothing but truth, times where I was able to just be me. To dance in the freedom that I knew in Christ. I was able to take the lies that I heard and replace them with truth, with life giving words. Those were times I felt alive, I felt like Brooke, like I mattered.

But somewhere in the corners of my mind, I find myself doubting what I hear and in creep the lies. And then I feel like I can't get out of it. And friends, right now, I find myself in one of those places, where the lies have crept in and I am having a hard time hearing truth. Normally, I would never write about this on this blog, I would not share my heart. But I feel like as women, (sorry if any of you readers are guys), we all find ourselves in those places at one time or another. We strive to be everything for everyone, only to hear we are not enough. We desperately try to live healthier, only to be reminded that we don't measure up. We long to be loved, only to have those parts of us that we don't love thrown in our faces.

But the good news is, there is one who does say we are enough, we do measure up, we are loved. He speaks truth about us and longs for us to believe it. So while in this season, I am having a hard time finding that truth, I have HOPE that He still whispers through the lies, he still gives breath where it feels we are suffocating.

And for this...I must keep breathing....

Sunday, March 13, 2011

day of lists...list 12

list 12: weekly rituals

i am not really someone who is very ritualistic (is that even a word?). there are things i do each week, but very few of them happen on the same day or during the same time each week. so i will just list some things i do weekly....enjoy!

- hang out with my home group from church

- go to church

- school....everyday monday through friday...spending time with 5th graders...everyday :)

- waste way too much time on facebook or the computer in general

- Glee!

- watch too much DVRed tv

- laundry

- weekly target trip (might be more like daily, but who really needs to know that)

- spend time with the Lord

- eat out with friends

- talk to my momma

what do you do every week?


30 days of lists...list 11

list: date nights

well, i am not sure how inspired i feel about this topic...but i will share with you somethings that i think would make fun date/hang out nights

- concert. if you know me, you know i love live music and this is a perfect date night or a perfect hang out night with friends. and my favorite live show of course..the avett brothers!

- picnic and hike

- pizza and movie night at home

- thirft store day and coffee

i am sure there are more, but this is all i can think of for now!


day of lists...list 10

a wishlist... (sorry i am a little behind on these lists, i am catching up today!)

today i am wishing for...

- a new ipod

- someone to come and clean my house, like really clean my house

- to be debt free

- a new wardrobe...with lots of cute shoes, accessories, dresses and cardigans. oh and a perfect pair of jeans

- more opportunities to travel

- all my favorite people to live in my backyard, or at least in my neighborhood

- a super relaxing and fun spring break

- to be 100% comfortable with who i am

- happiness and healing for all that i love

- to be a wife and a mom

- to see Mumford and Sons and the Avett Brothers in concert together

- to know who sent me a special piece of mail :)

list 11...coming soon!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

day of 9

favorite blogs/websites

- facebook: i know sad but true. i definitely remember when i first heard of facebook. i was so upset because i could not have an account, do you remember sarai? and now, well...i sure do love it!

- gmail

- newton conover city schools- not sure it is my favorite, but one i sure do visit bunches

- amazon- i heart amazon!

- etsy

- a holy experience

- blogs, there are so many that i could list- annieblogs, teammartins, saraig, and many other friends, people i would like to be my friends, crafty blogs, the list goes on and on

- picnik

- failblog, cake wrecks, failbook- hahah :)

- reality steve- i do love a good reality show spoiler blog

what are your favorite websites? would love to hear!

have a great week!

day of 8

in my bag....and a very cute bag i might will find...

- wallet- i am holding out hope for this super cute owl wallet, but for now it is my plain black $5 target wallet

- camera- i carry it with me everywhere which leads to a very heavy bag!

- checkbook- yes,i still write checks, and i actually like it

- chapstick/lip gloss (x6)- located in my fun bag from girls weekend...and great reminder of how blessed i am with some great friends

- keys- 3 sets

- cell phone- my friend the droid...i do love you!

- pictures i picked up from walgreens- now they just need a home!

- coupons

- various pens and sharpies

- dry erase marker or markers- this is the sign of being a teacher

- random change

- cute green notebook

- fiber one bar- never know when you might be hungry

- planner

- candy from Mugg and Bean- this would be from my trip to Africa this heart would love to be back! i think i hold onto it as a reminder of an unbelievable trip.

have a great week!


Monday, March 7, 2011

day of 7

today is a list of blog goals. as much as i would love to become "blog famous" , i am also realistic. i know that will probably never happen. heck, i don't even know how many of my friends really read this thing. but here are a few goals i have for myself and my little corner of the blog world.

blog goals...

- be a consistent blogger (not my strength)

- design a new banner and redo my blog design

- find a few more followers

- be more transparent on my blog, in hopes that it blesses someone else's journey. never wanted this to be a laundry list of the things i do each day.

- catch up on google reader...hahaha!

what are you goals friends???

happy monday!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

30 days of 6

list #6

least favorite words

when i checked the 30 days of lists blog today to find out the list of the day, i couldn't help but giggle when i saw the topic for today's list. if you have spent anytime with me you know there are a long lists of words that i do not like to say or card words as i like to call them. many of you get great pleasure in saying them around me and watching me squirm. i have not included all red card words on this list, but here is a small sampling of the words i do not like!

* please note, i don't like the word rural because i have a hard time saying it. the word patty is not in reference to the name but in things like hamburger patty or peppermint pattie. the word can't has always been banned from my classroom so that is why it is included. and well, the others, i feel they are self explanatory! *

i am sure some of you can think of a long list of other words that should have been included. feel free to leave them in the comment section!

happy sunday friends!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Days of Lists...Day 5

List #5

goals for the weekend

- catch up with some amazing people from journey #22- check

- get a hug from my mom- check

- laundry- in process

- spend some quality time with my couch and maybe even throw in a little nap- check

- clean- hmm....

- work on my bible study for home group- later this evening

- food and theater with friends- tonight, my friends, tonight!

happy weekend!

Days of Lists...Day 4

Excited does not begin to describe how I feel about this list. Music has always been a super important part of my life. It evokes emotion, takes me back in time, and brings me closer to the heart of God. In all reality, I could probably list 100's of songs for this challenge, but i am going to stick with some of my current favorites. Enjoy friends!

Today's Playlist...
- beautiful things- gungor

- shadowfeet- brooke fraser

- everything's right- matt wertz

- you and me- dave matthews

- skeleton bones and how he loves- john mark mccmillan (who i will be seeing in concert this week!)

- falling- the civil wars

- divine romance- phil wickham

- one word- shane and shane

- fire fall down- hillsong

- all i need is you- hillsong

- all i need- jj heller

and my current obsession....

- mumford and sons

- the avett brothers

check out these videos to get a little taste of mumford and avetts...

Thursday, March 3, 2011

30 Days of Lists...Day 3

30 Days of Lists
Day 3

I am looking forward to....

*understanding and embracing what the Lord has for my future
*spring break
*seeing some of the amazing ladies and gents from journey #22 tomorrow night
*part 2 of harry potter
* avett brothers concert- april 9th
*traveling to south africa this summer
*being a wife and a mother one day
*truly grasping how much God loves me
*spring time
*flip flop weather
*celebrating matt and michelle's wedding in may
* spending time with friends near and far
* surrender
* the future
* using my camera...not on the auto setting
* the first veggies from the garden
* getting real mail in the mail slot
* watching all the seasons of the office

happy thursday friends! yay for friday!

much love

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

30 Days of Lists...Day 2

day 2: things i am good at

like yesterday, this is a difficult topic for me. i am actually struggling right now with being able to really see the things i am good at. here is what i came up with....

things i am good at:
- eating
- teaching
- having my camera in my never know when you will need a picture
- being indecisive
- making a mess
- playing the drums...rock band style
- sleeping
- watching tv marathons...think ANTM
- making people feel special, loved and important
- throwing a pretty rockin' party, gathering, shower, celebration
- wasting time on facebook
- not knowing when to shut up
- remembering song lyrics
- being stubborn

see you tomorrow...excited for what day 3 will bring!


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Back in the Blogging World...30 days of Lists

It has been on my heart a lot lately to get back into the blogging habit. My heart is full of things I want to say, but most days I have no idea how to put it into words. So, I thought by joining up with the 30 Days of Lists blog, I could ease back into sharing my heart and thoughts with you on my blog. I would also love if some of you might join up as well...I'm just sayin'!


When I saw the topic for the Day 1 list, I thought it would be an easy start. A few things about hard could that be? But as I tried to get my thoughts down on paper (I am keeping a paper journal of these lists as well) I could not think of anything to write. Maybe I am the only one who has this problem? I think it all boils down to this simple truth, I am not really all that happy with who I am. Now, before you leave me comment after comment on how wonderful I am (kidding here friends), I know this is something that the Lord is working on in my heart even now. I am open to really starting to love and accept the Brooke the Lord created. So here is my list for day 1...

A few things about me...

lover of God, my family and friends
daughter, sister, granddaughter, god mother, cousin, niece
blessed with an amazing group of friends both near and far
teacher to some pretty inspiring kids
love to travel, take pictures, collect cute paper products, drink diet coke
left part of my heart in Johannesburg, South Africa
spontaneous good and bad ways
a work in progress

happy tuesday friends!

Blogging tips