#5...

#5...You have no control over the amount of time you have with those you love...enjoy and take advantage of every precious moment...don't regret anything...cherish the time you have!

6 years ago today was one of the worst days of my life. It was 6 years ago today that I learned that my dad had passed away. I was a naive 22 year old getting ready to start her 2nd year of teaching. I never in a million years would have expected to hear the words I heard that Sunday morning. Even today, I am blown away by the sudden loss of my daddy. I wish I could say that I took advantage of every second with him...that I always told him how I felt...hugged him when we said good bye...but I didn't. I know there were times that I walked out his door and never even thought to tell him I loved him. How I wish I had that time back. These past 6 years have been full of so many accomplishments, firsts, and happy memories that I wish I could have shared with my dad. I often find myself wanting to pick up the phone and tell him about my crazy day at school or to get him to tell me what to do to fix my car. I look at my favorite picture of the two of us and my heart aches for a big bear hug...you know the kind that only a dad can give his daughter. If only time had stood still and I could have told him how much I loved him. If only I could have told him that I was so proud of him and that he had challenged me to be a better person. If only I could have told him how much I admired his strength and his determination to overcome a disease that had a strong hold on his life. But for now, I have to just share those thoughts in my heart and wait for the day when I will be able to crawl up into his lap and laugh and cry and talk the way we used to. There are so many things I wish my dad would be here for...when I watch my friends walk down the aisle at their wedding with their dad at their side I miss him. When I the dads of my students walk their kids into school, I miss him. When I see a Duke t-shirt I miss him. Not a day goes by that I do not wish he was still here with us. The only hope I have in this is that he is living it up in heaven and just waiting for me to get there one day! I love you dad...and I hope you are proud of the woman I am becoming...

Last year on So you think you can dance, Mia Michaels, one of the choreographers, created this dance about her dad that had passed away. As I watched the movements of these dancers on the stage, I just wept. I long for the day when my dad and I can dance like this again...Until then...