Avoidance...

Well I guess you could say that I have been a super bad blogger for the past well, month or so. I thought of all these witty things I could tell you about why I have been absent from the blog world, you know like cute top ten lists about why I have not been blogging or blaming it on my busy schedule. But I decided to just type from the heart for now...

So, basically I have been avoiding my blog. I checked out dictionary.com to see what avoidance really meant and I found that it is a noun meaning the act of avoiding or keeping away from. And this totally fits how I have been feeling for the past several weeks. I have always been afraid to really write from the heart on my blog. The normal insecurities certainly have set in, speaking from the heart just makes you vulnerable and I was not sure I was ready to do that. But over the past few weeks I have just been really falling for and listening to the lies that the enemy tries to sneak into our hearts and our minds. Silly things like, no one really cares about what you have to say on here. Haven't you seen those other blogs, yours does not even come close. Your words do not speak to the hearts of the people you know or might stumble upon this blog. I have tried to cling to the truth that I know, but I just have fallen prey to these feelings of unworthiness and self pity.

Even when I was at church last Sunday, I found myself listening to the voice that just kept telling me I was not good enough. I was frustrated...I know that I am so much more than the lies that I had been listening to. Tonight at small group, we were reading in Luke Chapter 1. In this particular part of scripture, we are introduced to two amazing women...Mary and Elizabeth. Both women were strong examples of faithful servants to the Lord. When Mary came to Elizabeth to tell her she was expecting, Elizabeth shared these words with Mary...

Blessed woman, who believed what God said, believed every word would come

true! Luke 1:45 (the message)

I think that my heart has been forgetting that God's word does not turn void and his promises endure. I have been letting the lies lead me to avoidance when I should be claiming and believing the promises that God has for me...I am a beloved and worthy child of God and should be living my life in that way. So friends, there will be no more hiding, no more avoiding...today is a new day!